witchy woman

One day, I was sitting in Italian, talking with another girl in my class.  As I was talking to her, she was staring quite intently at my face and as soon as I stopped talking, she breathed, "You have like perfect skin.  What do you use?"

I explained to her that my skin did not clear up until I was about 22 and that it took a strong cocktail of proactive and birth control to get to this point.  

Now that my skin has stopped revolting, I am able to use products that I like.  I love Aveeno and Khiels.  One of my favorite products, though, is something that I came across last fall and had not heard of before and I LOVE IT.  

I bought this at a little boutique in Comer, Georgia (which has since moved to Ila, Georgia), but Earthfare also carries a couple of their products.  This witch hazel is so...refreshing.  I don't know how else to describe it.  Everyone should try it.  Earthfare doesn't have the lavender, but they do have the rose petal, which is also very nice.  What better way to boost the economy than to support small business and have great looking (and feeling!) skin?  Go get some.

lesson learned

One of my neighbors is very sick.  No, not the one who refused to go to Applebee's with me.  The other Matt that lives next door.  He has been in and out of the hospital since sometime late last semester.  He is now in ICU and is not expected to live much longer.  His condition is the result of an infection after a surgery, which then led to the failure of several body systems.  His options have come down to a decision on if he wants to die in hospice care or with his family.  

It is a very sad situation.  However, I didn't know him very well, so I can really only offer support to my other neighbor Matt who is pretty upset.  Therein lies the lesson to be learned.  I have lived next door to this man since September of 2008 and know almost nothing about him.  All I know is that he cooks well and plays the piano beautifully.  He would often cook things and bring them to Parker and me, and sometimes, I could hear him playing the piano if my apartment was quiet. And he has a little chihuahua named Dylan.  That is really all I know about this young man who now lays dying.  What effort on my part would it have taken to stop and chat more when I would find him sitting outside?  Why didn't I invite him over for dinner?  Why don't I take the time to know the people around me?  

Cliche as this all may sound, this situation has been a real kind of shock for me.  Not necessarily about the dire circumstances of this man's health, but more of my own reclusiveness, if that's even applicable.  I didn't take the time to get to know the person living ten feet away from me, and now the chances of me getting to know him are almost zero.  May I in the future be more friendly and reach out to those close to me.  I can only pray now that his pain will be little and that his family will find comfort.  

male monday

That is supposed to be pronounced "mall-ay", as in bad.  Not male.  Monday did not directly involve any males.

What a suck day.  My back has been KILLING me for almost a week now and today was no exception.  I went to Italian, which was fine.  After that, I went to eat my lunch before my ecology lab.  I make myself eat tuna for lunch on Mondays, 'cause you know, it's good for you, but I always feel kind of like a jerk for eating it in a public setting.  I personally have grown not to HATE the smell of tuna like I used to, but I'm sure others do not feel the same way.  Eating tuna on the second floor of the SLC at one of the study tables just feels so mean.  I looked for a seat in the Jittery Joe's section, nothing.  I then looked for a study room, that would trap in the smell.  Nothing, just a bunch of jerks who were in the rooms alone.  So I sat and ate my pungent lunch across from a young man studying.  Le sigh. 

Then, I spent the next two hours at a water treatment plant.  I was in WASTE for TWO HOURS.   Granted, I did spend oh....one hour and 53 minutes fantasizing about my ecology TA, but we were still surrounded by crap.  Ick.

-Brief respite from suck day between lab and work when I came home and took a nap-

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I got some heat sticky things for my back and large amounts of processed sugar and went to work.  Which wasn't all that bad.  All I could think about though was how bad I wanted to go to Applebee's after work for dinner.

Let me say something here.  I really don't like Applebee's, or places like unto it.  However, due to the joys of advertising, I saw a commercial for some steak deal they were having and just had to go and eat steak.  It looked so good.  So I asked my neighbor if he would go with me, as he is out of my 4 friends the one who is not a vegetarian.   We made kind of a standing date to go, whenever both of us had the time or the money.  

I texted him earlier in the day and asked if he would want to go. He said maybe, and I saw him after lab and he said he would let me know.  I sent him another text around 7pm all but begging him to go with me, as it had been a bad day and all I wanted was cow.  His response?

I already made dinner plans.

Wtf?  I thought WE made dinner plans.  It made me irrationally angry.  So here I sit, hungry and in pain, with a long list of things to get done.  I think I'm just going to order some pizza and watch The Mummy instead of doing any of it.  Blech.  

Could be an organ donor the way I give up my heart

I hate Valentine's Day.  Like, I really hate it.  I have for quite some time.  Like, my senior year of high school, my friends and I developed this "Anti-Valentine Warrior" thing and made signs and everything.  Some may say that as a feminist, I shouldn't be worried about something as silly as a holiday like this, that being single is totally cool and I should not let this DAY OF REMINDER get me down.  But ohhh it does.  I tend to get sad and boo-hoo and gorge myself for pretty much a week.  I would like to say that as I have aged, that I have (hopefully) gotten more mature.

I have not.  

Instead, I have taken to purchasing for myself gifts.  As there is no "man in my life" to buy me things (isn't that what a man is for?), I just buy things on my own.   This Valentine's Day, I bought myself this pretty little something.

I bought it from skinnystyle.com and I cannot wait to get it in the mail.  

You should all listen to Andre 3000's Happy Valentine's Day.  It adequately sums up my feelings about February 14.  

my nail beds suck

First of all, I am never mentioning my diet coke consumption ever again.  

Sunday morning, my older brother/roommate got super drunk and decided that he needed to talk to me for several hours about his ex-girlfriend, the moon, the Joker, magic, the Joker and drugs.  Once I kicked him out of my room, I finished drying my hair and had to leave the apartment before I broke something of his in a fit of rage.  As I couldn't get in touch with my family to see if there were home, I decided to pass my time at Target.  Sam wanted some pants for his birthday, I wanted to look at throw pillows and lip gloss, etc etc.  I got Sammy's pants (only after very detailed instructions from him as I realized I know nothing about how to shop for men's clothing) and wandered around the store after prying from my hands several scarves, bags and sandals.  I then thought that maybe some new hair accessories would brighten my day.  

I walked to the hair accessory aisle and saw what appeared to be a family.  A man, a woman, and what looked like three 8-9 year old girls.  I was looking around, trying my best to ignore them, when I saw that the group of young girls were all crowded around those hand held mirrors.  I then heard the following exchange: 

"Ohmygosh, look at my eyebrows.  I totally have a unibrow."

"No, will you look at my skin?  Ugh."

Just to be clear, this was coming from the LITTLE GIRLS, not the adults.  I have a very hard time keeping my thoughts to myself, because even if I am silent, my facial expressions have a tendency to rat me out.  By this time, I had fully turned my whole body to face this group of girls and was staring at them, mouth agape.  The girls did not see me, and neither did the adults, and I turned quickly on my heel and walked away.  

Now, if any of you have ever even mentioned anything remotely concerning women and body image issues, you have probably heard my 30 minute tirade about the subject.  I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM WITH IT.  I so wish we could live in a world where EVERY PERSON, male or female, could believe that they were beautiful.  I have listened to countless friends talk about how they wish they could change this or that about their bodies, but most of my friends are adults.  

THESE WERE CHILDREN.

Not teens, not even tweens, these were little girls, who should not need to worry about their looks past the point of have I brushed my hair in the last week and am I wearing shoes.  It makes me so sad to hear people my own age berate themselves, but little girls?  If we start hating ourselves at nine, what's next?  

because you want more

My mentoROY told me that if I want to be a successful blogger, I have to be more consistent in my postings.  People respond well to that, he says.  I now make a commitment to you, blogging community, to write something every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and maybe weekends.  At least for like the next week.  

As it is obviously Tuesday, I have already failed you.  

Today I will be telling you what I ate yesterday.  Since people are interested in what celebrities eat, and I might as well be a celebrity, I will tell you what I ate yesterday.  If you hate it I will never do it again.  Give me FEEDback (get it, because it's about food....)

1 whole wheat bagel with cream cheese

1 small glass of grape juice

1 package of Albacore tuna with mayonnaise and relish

6 crackers

5 strawberries

3 squares of dark chocolate

1 20 oz bottle of diet coke

1 small cup of chocolate pudding

6 swiss on wheat crackers

1 can of diet coke

1 ham and mozzarella quesadilla

1 can of diet coke

water>diet coke I promise

Does it light up?

Buckle up kids, this is going to be a long one.

In my honest efforts to date only LDS men instead of picking up a frat boy at a bar to fulfill my physical desires, I have not dated a lot of men.  There was Mike the physical therapist, Aaron the guyIwasntreallydatingbutspentthenightathishousealot and Miles, aka Stephen Colbert.  And probably a couple of other guys I'm probably forgetting. 

I've been on a lot of first dates.

There was also Derek.  Except I didn't really date Derek.  I met Derek in 2004 at a church dance or on an lds singles website or some other way Mormons desperately try to meet each other.  He is from a town in northwest Georgia, as I live in northEAST Georgia and so we didn't spend a lot of time together.  We did go to my stake's conference together, and that was fun and we totally wanted to kiss as we were saying goodbye but we didn't blahblahblah.  BUT, because we lived so far away from each other, nothing really happened.  We talked often online and called sometimes, but no real established connection.  

Cut to December, 2006.

Derek and I had been talking and we were discussing how we both really wanted to kiss each other back in spring 2004.  We then decided it would be a good idea to get together just to make out.  Since we lived so far away from each other, we didn't want to have any sort of relationship, but we did want to kiss.  Each other.  It was then decided that I would be the lucky one to drive all the way across the state for said ncmo.  I did, and it was fun, but I wasn't swooning or anything.

March, 2007.

I had decided that I would go to Charleston for spring break (ah the beginning of my love affair with Charleston...le sigh...) and Derek and I were talking and thought it would be fun if he went too.  It would be cheaper, I would feel safer with another person, etc etc.  SO we decided he would come here and we would go on a date to discuss it (ie see if we wanted to spend a few days together in a new city).

Let me interject something here. 

In 2004, I was pretty young and immature.  I though that if ANY lds guy paid attention to me, I should totally date him, because we were both Mormon, it would work out.  Don't get me wrong, I liked Derek, he was funny and cute.  Come 2007, though, 2007 was the year of Benjamin and women's studies and my super long hot hair.  2007 was a year of finding myself, who I was, what I wanted from myself and life.  I was more independent, more outspoken and more liberal and more stylish.  That being said, back to the March 2007 date.

The man showed up to my house wearing a leather blazer.  A LEATHER BLAZER.  "Do they even make those?", you ask?  Yes, they do.  He also got in my car and said "Do we really have to listen to Frank Sinatra?"  Ahhh helll no.  Needless to say, the date did not go well, and he did not go to Charleston with me.  Which was actually fantastic, I learned a lot about myself driving to a strange, new place, alone.  And I'm not saying that to sound CLICHE, I really mean it.  That trip taught me a lot.  But I digress.  

Now to the present, January 2008

I started thinking about Derek and how we never really went on a "real" date (which isn't really true, please see March 2007).  Our branch was having an activity, and I thought it would be fun if he came to be my date.  I even told him he could spend the night at my apartment if he wanted, because it was such a long drive home.  And so the fun begins.

I opened the door and all I saw was goatee and polo.  Keep in mind that by January 2008, I am in full democrat mode, my hair has grown back out and I'm ALMOST back to babe status.  I ain't got time for no goatee and polo.  On that poor grammar note, I had forgotten what a HICK Derek is.  I guess my 2004 naiveté had blocked that.  He is a sixth grade English teacher and talks like such a redneck.  Remember how I said that he could spend the night at my house?  I like to think of the night progressing in this pattern: Before he got there, he was going to sleep in my bed.  When I opened the door, he was sleeping on the floor.  He only gets further and further away from my bed as the night progresses.  

We had some time to kill, so we went to the zoo, where he made fun of Athens' small zoo which houses animals native to Georgia, which I honestly find fascinating.  We then went to dinner, where he didn't talk much. I tried SO hard to carry the conversation, asking him about his students, what he was teaching, comparing Italian grammar to what he was teaching.  Nothing.  Then, finally, we went to the institute to meet everyone else.  SALVATION.

The basketball game wasn't that bad.  I sat between him and Joseph Scott (the funniest man alive) and I spent more time talking to Joseph than Derek.  At one point, I asked Derek to go and get me a drink so that I could express to Mallori my dilemma of how to make him go home (Mal had met him in 2004 at stake conference).  We left the game and Steph wanted to go to Cali n' Titos.  Even though we had already eaten, and even though I knew I was going to make this man drive home and it was after 8pm (he lives about 3 hours away) I said yes we were going to A. delay the awkward "you can't stay here" routine and B. guava empanadas.  And then, what happened next, almost had me storming off, leaving him in an ambiguously Latin restaurant which he referred to as an "eyesore".  

The man pronounced the word "salmon" as SALLMAN.  HE PRONOUNCED THE "L" IN SALMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HE TEACHES SIXTH GRADE ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I publicly and loudly corrected him, making sure to sound as condescending as possible.  We sat down, where Stephanie, the genius that she is, asked Robbie if she could sit next to me, which led to me sitting as far away from Derek as possible.  We left at like 9:30 and drove back to my apartment, my mind reeling as to what I was going to say.  I was just going to say it in the car and get it over with.  We stopped, and before I took the key out of the ignition, he was out of the car.  Dammit.

He walked over to his trunk and I just blurted out, "I know I said you could spend the night here, but...." at which point I trailed off.  He then said, "Ok. I'll just get you what I brought you". About a month ago, he had told me he had something to give me.  He opens his suitcase and pulls out a Georgia cup.  Which pissed me off because anyone who knows me would know that would piss me off.  He said he won it at some teacher auction thing, and thought of me.  Inside the cup were some magnets, Georgia gum.  And a keychain.  Let me say, on our first "date" (stake conference) he brought me a keychain that had my name on it, because I had told him it was difficult for me to find keychains with my name on it.  This keychain, however, did not have my name on it.  

It said "kiss me".  

Panic.

"Does it light up?"  (what the hell,Bonnie).  

"I think it does, but I think you have to be a certain temperature."

Zing.

My response?

"May I offer you a caffeinated beverage?"

I have not heard from him since.  

That frat boy keeps looking better and better.