seamus hackworth?

James,

I couldn't send you a message on facebook, so assuming that you (for some reason) still read my blog, would you please message me on facebook or something? I want to talk to you. Or more like apologize.

Girl who was a huge bitch last time we spoke,

Bonnie

Oh and hey everyone else. I will update more soon, I have so many ideas. After Christmas, I don't work again until January 2, so expect something great!

Faux Poor

As Leah pointed out what should have been obvious to me, I am posting the piece I wrote for Kyle on here. Enjoy and watch for more!

Fashion: Faux Poor

If you're a student at UGA or a resident of Athens, you're familiar with the designer products a majority of students are privileged enough to wear. You could be thinking of anything; if it can be made "designer," someone in Brumby will have it. Whether it be the now mass-produced fleece jacket to match your mass-produced bookbag, those shorts with the lines that are supposed to streamline your legs (they don't), to computers to keychains, to the luxury vehicle that even your dad can't afford, brand names unfortunately abound in the Classic City. It can be really difficult for a student not so privileged to feel adequate enough when their sunglasses don't have two tiny white words printed on the lens. So what does a young person do when they can't afford to fit in, say... in Terry? I have one name for you:

Lamar Dodd.

Welcome to the Mecca of the faux poor, the destitute destination for all of the University. How often have you seen someone downtown and thought to yourself, "I wonder if that person is homeless?" and it turns out they're just a pottery major? I know I have, and I've developed a keen eye for the style of the art student. Rich or poor, hobo chic is the way to dress down at the art school. And the look of the art student is oh so easy to emulate. Allow me to suggest some ways that you, yes YOU, can become your own Chuck Close, a modern day Van Gogh (ear chopping not required, though the dried blood would look pretty beggarly):

#1 - Hygiene.

DO. NOT. BATHE. Seriously. This is the foundation of looking (and smelling) like an art student. And if you absolutely have to shower, do not wash your hair. Speaking of hair, you should probably cut it into something choppy, and bangs are a must. Both of those techniques provide a good base for the greasy look you are trying to achieve. The dirtier you are, the poorer you look. The poorer you look, the less understood you feel; and the less understood you are, the better your art is.

#2 - Clothing.

Know those terrible jeans your mom made you wear in like middle school? Dig them out and wear them everyday for the remainder of the semester. Pretty much anything without a collar and with an ironic logo is acceptable for the top, but rips, tears and stains definitely say, "I sleep in a box." Also, any art supply you can get on the clothing is excellent, even if you don't paint, draw, etc. Rub a charcoaled hand across your shirt and go!

#3 - Accessories.

Scarves. And nothing else. Lots and lots of scarves. Don't have one? Ask Dr. Zuraw if you can borrow one of hers.

Oh, and get a couple of tattoos.

#4 - Cigarettes.

Ok, this may not exactly fall into the "poor" aspect, as cigarettes cost money, but you have to smoke. Preferably American Spirits or Parliaments. It may as well be a requirement to become an art major, like a superinflated ego.

These are just a few suggestions, and if you're actually poor, you'll have no problem fitting in and making friends.

Until the smelly kid next to you pulls out his MacBook and starts taking notes. Because remember, these art kids are not actually poor: Their torn up, "vintage" style probably costs as much, if not more than those logo-ed co-ed clothes. And believe me, American Spirits are NOT cheap. The trick, however, is to appear poverty-stricken and if you actually are broke, the art kids will never know the difference. So all you poor kids who feel that you can’t fit in anywhere on North Campus, make the trek down to Lamar Dodd, light up one of your expensive cigarettes and feel welcome.

Can’t draw?

Don’t worry, neither can they.

the goat

Hello everyone!

School this semester is INTENSE and I apologize for my lack of writing.

However, a friend of mine has started a satirical blog for UGA and has recruited me to write for him! Stop by and read my first article and let me know what you think!


thegoat-uga.blogspot.com

to bang or not to bang?

TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY?!

I'm getting a haircut on Sunday* and I cannot decide what I want to do!!! I've had an on/off relationship with bangs for about two years now and I think I want them back, but I cannot decide. I need your help. Sooo....

No bangs? Or.....

Bangs?

*City Salon is hosting a cut-a-thon on Sunday from 12-5pm. All haircuts are 20$ and all proceeds go to Project Safe. No appointments, just a first come, first served basis. GREAT DEAL.

its been a while

Hello all five people that read my blog.

I apologize for the absence and my own laziness. As previously stated, having a boyfriend is a lot of work (which I plan to write an entire, lengthy blog about) and now that school has started back, I'm taking four classes and working 18 hours a week, I have very little time. BUT, in an effort to put my life in some sort of order, I want to get my blog going again. I love having it as a creative outlet, and as just a place to share all the things I find interesting about my young life. And Leah, don't worry, I have a long list of things that need to be blogged about, so it will be sometime before you're bored.

However, today's blog will be short. I should be working on a paper right now that is due on Friday. I'm just proud of myself that its not Thursday night at 9pm when I start it. Anyway, I want to share with all of you a website that I find amusing. Amusing is not even an adequate word to describe this website, honestly.

We all think there is something strange or weird about our family. It could be the uncle you have that wears short shorts, or perhaps your grandma has more cats than grandchildren. Either way, chances are good that you have taken a photograph (or five) with said weird relative. Enter the greatest collection of photographs to behold...

awkwardfamilyphotos.com

I will say, as the website has gained popularity, the photos have waned in quality. And by that I mean there are fewer pictures of adults in Whinnie The Pooh costumes, so you may have to go back and look through several pages to find the truly awkward ones.

But trust me, it is totally worth it.

Maybe I'll upload that one of Dad in a union suit from Christmas morning 1987...

I spilled a bottle of water...

A while ago, I posted about a website called "fmylife.com" and about how funny it is.  

Here, my friends, is its less funny, but still amusing, almost dry, little sister, mylifeisaverage.com.

Happy Monday, everyone.

The Picture of Dorian Gray Hair Cover-up

Hello all.  I know it has been too long since I last posted. By way of excuse, I am taking two summer classes, working and have recently started dating someone.  Like actually dating them.  Like I have a boyfriend.  But I digress.  

Last month, I was reading the June issue of Vogue, and was enjoying the issue as I usually do.  Then I came across the article "Fat Chances", an article that has the sub-headline of "will body perfection one day be possible...a new world way beyond lipo".  The article goes on to detail how women these days along with wanting to look thin, also want to look young: "Ten years ago, the women who came to see me just wanted to look thinner...now they want their body to look younger, too".  (May I add here that this is coming from the magazine that at some point last year had what they called the Body Issue, which celebrated many different types of bodies.  yeah.  seriously.)  The article has sections titled "The Fat Blasters: Lipo Plus", "Fat-Dissolving Injections", "The Tighteners" (which in my opinion sounds like the title of a horror film), and "Cellulite: The Eternal Scourge".  

I think at this point, I put the magazine down and thought about never opening another issue of Vogue again. 

As a young woman, with virtually no gray hair or wrinkles or other "age" markers, I haven't really thought about what it will be like to look older.  I have thought about what it will be like for my hair to go gray, and have pretty well decided that I will never dye my hair and just let it age naturally.  I read a quote by Ann Curry a few years ago that I tried to find, but could not, so I will paraphrase, but it was something like "I hope that one day my wrinkles will show how much I laughed and lived".  It was something much more poetic than that.  My point is that I am going to live a full life and laugh a lot and probably cry a lot and yeah, my face is going to show that.  Yes, I use moisturizer and eye cream and wear huge sunglasses until dusk, but I'm not that worried about getting wrinkles. 

Now, apparently, I need to start worrying about what age my BODY looks.  

If you've read any of my previous writing, you know that I get a little worked up over body image issues.  However, I've only focused on the problems that YOUNG women face, children, teenagers and women my age.  I guess I sort of assumed that women matured out of the whole "caring about what the world thinks of you" thing.  I assumed wrong.  It is not enough anymore to think that you aren't thin or pretty enough, now you need to think that you're not young enough. That maybe your stomach isn't that flat anymore or your hips are a little bit wider (the author of the article mentions the "curve of her lower back".  I had no idea that was a problem area.  oops).  

What in the hell is so wrong with looking your age?  

When we are younger, we want to look older.  When we are older, we want to look younger.  I get that.  But going to extreme measures, using something called "the tighteners" to look 25 again?  

In the same issue of Vogue, there is an interview with Cameron Diaz, in which she says, "I'm not 25 years old anymore, nor do I want to be.  I wouldn't even want to go back to being 30.  That journey-I've done it already".  HOW CAN YOU HAVE THAT IN THE SAME ISSUE AS SOMETHING ABOUT HATING YOUR AGING BODY?!  Nice work, editing.  

There is a lot that is screwed up about the way Americans treat women, the way this culture expects women to look like, so my next statement is most likely unnecessary, but what happened to age=wisdom?  What happened to the respect that comes with living, with experience, with knowing more about the world through LIFE?  Or is that still there, we just expect our women to live always in the shadow of impending liposuction?  We can only respect an elderly woman if she appears to be 30?  

I really hate that this new way of self-loathing has been brought to my attention.  Now I know that for ever long I live, there will always be a new way to hate my body. 

 I better go wrap myself in sea kelp now and age away in an infrared sauna.