Friday, January 23, 2009

I think I'm paranoid

Chelsea and I are taking ecology this semester, and our professor is a 60 year old version of Ben Grindle.  What is important to note here is that we believe (or have developed a conspiracy theory) that Dr. McArthur's goal with the class is to make us supremely paranoid.  That we're going to run out of resources, that they tie babies to chairs in China, you know, those sorts of things.  If that was his intent, then he can consider himself a success.  

As some of you know, I have an irrational fear of mold.  That somehow, mold will kill me.  We discussed one day in class air-toxins and how there are all sorts of diseases out yonder that can infect you without you realizing it until its too late and then you're dead.  Well.  We had a bunch of mold on our fridge, and since I am scared of mold, I decided to clean it.  My thought process, as I am cleaning, went something like this: 

"I sure am glad I'm getting rid of this nasty mold so Parker and I can breathe better, and not die from mold.  Man, this cleanser stuff really stinks.  I hope I can get it all off of the fridge so it doesn't somehow contaminate the food inside the fridge. Oh no, if the smell is so strong, what if it gets in the fridge ANYWAY and poisons all our food?  And then we drink the milk and die?  What if by removing this mold, I'm actually releasing mold spores into the air, and we will breathe them in and we will die?  What if the water in the pitcher is now swimming with this mold and mildew cleanser and MOLDandwe'regoingtodrinkitandeattheeggsandthenwewillbothdieandnoonewillknowbecause

I've also decided from that class that i will adopt, at some point, a baby girl from a Chinese orphanage.  

Also, to keep you all updated on my work life, remember when I wrote the post about the rat candy (if you haven't read it, you should)?  Well, we found one of the rats.  After it had gotten drunk off of the apple and orange juice we had stored.  And after Eric put out rat poison.  Some girl came down the stairs and said, "Your pet rat is on the stairs".  Eric promptly collected the stunned rat and disposed of it.  COD?  Blunt force trauma.  However, that is not the end of the tail (get it? TAIL?  because rats have long TAILS...and it sounds like TALE which would be the correct word?)  The entire store began to REEK of death.  Bill Bacon (mmmm....Bacon.....) found a dead rat in the elevator, but the smell remained.  We have decided that there is at least one rat dead between the stairs and the wall.  Which means we cannot get to it.  Which means the entire bookstore smells like death.  DEATH.  It is disgusting.  I cannot remove the stench of decay from my nostrils.  

Not only do I work in a place with a rodent problem, I work in a place with a dead rodent problem.  Come on, May 2010.....


Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I smell like death after work each day. P.S. Hello.

Shelley Nicole said...

Rats. My friend Torre has rats out in her trailer...trailer used as a classroom, that is. It smells all the time. May 2010 is when you should live with me, somewhere...can it be California? Also, where are you? You dropped off my radar again. And, do you EVER read my blog? Love you.

Mary said...

my dad has the same fear of mold

Charlotta-love said...


That's when I couldn't hold back the laughter. Ah, Bonnie. Thank you for blogging.